These doors belong to the people chasing us

The Adjustment Bureau (2011)

Chosen by me as I like to go to the cinema a lot

Are you there God it's me, David.

Me: Hello, God?

God: Oh it's you. Look stop pestering me about creating Octocats. It's a dumb idea.

Me: No it's not about that (though they would be awesome), it's about your new movie.

God: Oh it's good isn't it? I'm rather pleased with it I must say.

Me: Yeah I can see why. It's pretty pro you. But I'm not sure it was that good really.

God: It was an excellent romp, full of good performances and filled with challenging ideas on fate and my role in dictating the world.

Me: Oh I agree on the performances, Damon and Blunt were splendid together (shame they had to be pulled apart arbitrarily by plot so often really).

God: Yes indeed, I may not need to smite you with lightening after all.

Me: Well I would hold off on the mercy, as I'm not sure the rest of the film worked especially well.

God: Hmmm.

Me: It seems to suggest that the love bond between two people is enough to have God yourself rearrange your plans and let free will blossom from great trust.

God: Yes beautiful right? And how magnanimous of me.

Me: Err, yeah right. But actually the reason they are together is because one of your earlier plans forces them to be 'soul mates' so it's not really free will is it?

God: Well, no but...

Me: But nothing. The ending is completely empty and meaningless, actually saying the total opposite of what it thinks it is saying.

God: No it is a testament to the power of love

Me: Except it's not love is it because you made it happen? And even if that were not the case it's a bunch of bullshit. Why is that such an important thing anyway? People make many terrific and amazing decisions that aren't about wanting to play a game of hide the sausage but no, the Hollywood narrative must be all about a man and woman coupling, shacking up and rutting like rabbits. I put it to you God, that Hollywood is even more powerful at creating than yourself.

God: Right, I'm pretty certain that is blasphemy. One righteous wrath of God heading your way.

Me; Oh shi...

Spider Shot countered!

Project A-Ko (1986)

Chosen by Sabine Woolnough who had this to say about it: 'pretty much my fav anime film when i was young (akira is my 1st fav!)'

I started today's gimmick by spelling out the name of the person who lent me the film down the side of the page, but thought that was a bit dull (and couldn't quite get the formatting right) so added another gimmick on by running the sentences through an online translator to Japanese and then back to English. Enjoy.


The most stupid animated cartoon ridiculous thing which is a pleasure of enormous quantity.
Ako has the scene of some pleasant fights and a sense of humor odd attractively.
I can write a blast as a whim at a fair old pace with a style forward.
About its getting the girl who outwardly comes out of nowhere (so far) probably mind of Scot pill Grimm who had it seems to have been influence on strange quarrel.
Naturally its being a strange custom such (get the crotch shot of all over about two seconds and we schoolgirls);, however, is too odd to be obscene.
I am totally like the love and the splendid contents which I sometimes look, and are luxurious.


And the original:


Supremely silly anime nonsense that is a huge amount of fun.
A-ko has some delightful fight scenes and an endearingly goofy sense of humour.
Blasting along at a fair old pace with whimsy and style.
It seems to have been an influence on Scott Pilgrim, perhaps, with it's bonkers fights over       winning a girl seemingly coming from nowhere.
Naturally it has it's peculiarities (about two seconds in and we get a crotch shot of a               school girl) but is too goofy to be salacious.
Excellent stuff, totally lovable and at times gorgeous to look at.

A little guilt goes a long way

The Machinist (2004)

Chosen by Victoria Charvill who had this to say about it: 'Although a little disturbing to see Bale so thin, there are two sides to his performance, the physical and his psychological. It is certainly one of his best performances and really makes Reznik come to life'

T h e   c e n t r a l   m y s t e r y   i s   a   l i t t l e   t o o   o n   t h e   n  o s e   
(t w i s t   m o v i e s   o f t e n   f a l l   i n t o   t h i s,   a s   a n   e n d i _ _   t h a t   d o e s n' t   c h e a t   w i l l   n e v e r   _ e   a s   c r a _ y   a s   t h e   e a r l i e r   a c t s  -  D a v i d   L y n c _   d o e s   i t    _ y   _ o t  
_ i v i _ _   a   d a m n   i f   t h e   v i e w e r   r e a l i s e s   w h a t   i s   _ o i n _   o n   o r   n o t),   s t i l l,  i t   i s   w e l l   t o l d.
A n   a i r   o f   h o r r i d   _ r i m e   a n d   m i s e r y   c o v e r s   e v e r y   s c e n e   a n d   _ a l e    i s   t e r r i _ i c,  s c o r i n _   t h e   i n s a n i t y     
e f f e c t i v e l y.




E (me), A (Paul), T (Rosie), I (Peter) H (Vicky) S (Steven), N (Carl), D (Ruth),C (Vicky) O (Laura), V (Andy) R (Leigh and Fiendil - I'm not sure who you are I realise), F (Rosie), L (Sam) Y (Vicky) W and M (Sam)


And we have our first incorrect letter - Epsilon (Nick, that wag). So four lives left.


Your choice - 

My name? If you knew that, you'd be as clever as me.

Layer Cake (2004)

Chosen by me technically, but supplied by James Bloodworth who had this to say about it: 'Stepping out from his usual producing duties, Matthew Vaughn ventures into familiar territory with his first directorial effort. Layer Cake tells the story of effectively a drug dealer who is trying to leave his murky life behind and how his perfectly balanced world starts to disintegrate around him. Whilst potentially lacking the wit and charm of "Lock, Stock..", I would describe Layer Cake as Lock, Stock for grown ups. Sporting a British cast, all participants are work man like and adequate in their roles but the burden of the film falls firmly onto Daniel Craig's shoulders and it's not hard to see how this film allegedly got him the role of James Bond. Craig gives a cool to measured performance throughout. Matthew Vaughn would go onto direct some of my favourite films of recent years, namely Stardust, Kick-Ass and the upcoming X-Men First Class.'

I've decided this week shall be gimmicky review week after yesterday's song parody (which proved quite popular, getting a number of views and comments - the facebook link anyway, not here. Of course that may have just been because of my desperate cry for attention) so today's shall be in Haiku form.

Decent but empty
Rips end off Carlito's Way?
Craig is brilliant.

Candlelight, privacy, music. Can't think of a better place for hand-to-hand combat.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)

Chosen by Sabine Woolnough who had this to say: 'simply the best disney film ever.....EVER! and has the best and most complex villain ever, not to mention the best villain song too!'

♫ Somewhere out there is a movie I like

Something to really please me and make me laugh tonight

That movie is not here, a rather dull affair
Hunchback is really rather an odd choice for Disney to share

And even though I know I'm not the target audience
I hate to say the songs in this are really, really pants

And can I say that Demi Moore is totally miscast
The others actors are not bad, Kline seems to have a blast

Somewhere out there is a film that's true
Then I will be happy, somewhere out there
But it seems not from yoooouuuuuuuuu♫

Yeah it's not a Disney song but whatever, I get to put a Community clip in.