Monday, 28 February 2011

Between now and then, I'm gonna mess you up!

Drive Angry (2011)
Chosen by me because I like to go to the cinema a lot.


So aggressively set on being a cult classic, with every line being thrown away as though a bad ass bon mot it becomes very tiresome very quickly. When everything is turned up to Spinal Tap's 11, 11 isn't very special.
William Fichtner at least brings some fun by doing a Chris Walken impression but everybody else is so set on being 'awesome' that they fail to strike as actual characters, just a bag of supposedly kick ass tics in a skin suit.
Not that the film cares, but none of it makes any sense (why was the cult leader doing what he was doing? - there seems to be a suggestion he may have had a deal of his own already but why or how - god knows?) a couple of interesting actors turn up (David Morse at least gets to do something, but Pruitt Taylor Vince has nothing to work with, maybe there's a whole bunch of deleted scenes out there?)
The 3D is not bad I guess, it throws enough stuff out the screen to get you to flinch at least a couple of times.

The first one won't kill you; not the second, not even the third... not till you crawl over here and you KISS MY FOOT!

From Russia With Love (1963)
Chosen by BlogalongaBond

Another month, another Bond - this time one of my faves.

Bond's Intro: After an odd fake out (I assume the producers realised they didn't have Connery on screen for 15 minutes) that makes no sense what-so-ever but sets Grant up as a capable killer (even though it is of course revealed to not be Bond, the subconscious will have logged Shaw garrotting Connery). It's mildly amusing to see Connery as panicky, firing off a wild shot whilst the effortlessly cool Shaw stalks him. But seeing as Bond has kind of been a bit rubbish for all of Dr. No and will be for much of this film that moment doesn't work as well as perhaps it should.
I like to imagine that SPECTRE didn't tell Grant that it was a double for Bond, to see maybe if the reputation of the man (based on what? accidentally killing a bunch of people and bumbling his way into Dr. No's plot after he shot the guy in cold blood that might have told him what was going on) would effect performance against him. Maybe, god only knows?
We then get Bond proper, much later after establishing all the bad guys, smooching it up with the lovely Sylvia Trench (who comes off as a bit clingy here, shame as it's the last time we see her). Not a classic first scene for Bond but it does re-affirm that he puts the needs of his penis above the wants of his boss.

Theme Song and Credits: Once again we have no singing on our credits scene (though weirdly in my memory it does - strange the way we recall things) and our dancing female is not yet naked. Though it is much more overtly sexualised this time, the names projected onto the undulating thighs of a belly dancer, so we also start to see a thematic connection between the design sense of the credits and the film itself. The song is not fully heard until the end and is ok I guess, I'm of a mind that Bond songs should always be sung by women though.

The Ladies: Daniela Bianchi is quite, quite stunning and has more of an impact and presence than Ursula Andress. It's quite easy perhaps, and not entirely unfair, to dismiss her as a doting wisp of a character but unusually she is the driving thrust of the plot, rather than someone tacked onto it, and at least has more than one thing going on in her head (it's never really explored but she is working an angle on Bond and at least hesitates before shooting Klebb).
Sylvia Trench and Moneypenny pretty much slot in exactly as they did in Dr. No though Trench has a little less spark here.
Rosa Klebb is almost as aggressive at going for Romanova as Bond is, which if she was an attractive male may have changed the outcome of the movie. But alas, she is the first explicitly homosexual baddie we have for BlogalongaBond (i don't know, maybe you could make a case for Professor Dent) but by no means the last.

The Baddies: Now we get more of a feel for SPECTRE, who have a massive ego it seems. SPECTRE Island, really? And our first glimpse at Blofeld (it always amuses me to see the question mark where the actors name should be in the credits, for all the sex and violence, they're really made for kids).
We do so much better here than Dr. No. Grant, Klebb and Kronsteen are all interesting and varied. Grant the baddestassed thug of all badass thugs, Klebb all overt sexuality and Kronsteen the cold analyst.
Grant is the henchman that all future henchmen will be measured by (and come up short).

License to Kill: Bond maybe the worst secret agent ever. That's ok, he generally there to blow shit up. But he's also kind of rubbish at that for the most part. Over 40 mins before he gets into action and he's rather careless about who he attacks (I'm not sure how making a tent fall on both a Bulgarian and a Gypsy is meant to help the Gypsys but he basically repeats that later with a wagon and then a pond). Still, about 3 and a half hours into the James Bond series he finally becomes Bad Ass. By having a worthwhile opponent in Grant and one of the great fight scenes of all times (good dissection of that here) we see Bond as fully capable, both in toughness but also smarts (clocking Grant stealing his cash gives him the edge he needs and he plays on that greed). The chase with the helicopter is thrilling but the action with the boats is let down by the standard idiotic goons. Oh and the final bad guy is of course not killed by Bond, which is not the last time that will happen.

Bond hates foreigners: Not so much of that here. The Gypsy scene is a little condescending but there is a genuine warmth between Kerim Bey and Bond (unlike the servant/master relationship Quarrel had in Dr. No).

Bond hates women: We get some pretty piggish behaviour from Bond. 'From this angle things are shaping up nicely' he says on seeing Romanova's legs. Is quite quick to slap her around to find out what is going on (but that's true of most people he meets so...) and makes a joke about oral sex and the size of his dick that isn't all that smooth (though Connery just about pulls it off).

Bond's Crazy knowledge: Not especially exhibited here. In fact he goes out of his way to assert his ignorance 'I don't know too much about cryptography, sir' he says to M. As Kerim Bey is filling him in on the history of his city Bond offers up a 'really?' but couldn't sound more bored.

Bond's a big fat snob: 'Red wine with fish, that should have told me something'

00's killed: None again, my memory of the section being slaughtered left right and centre may be flawed. But we do have Kerim Bey dead I guess.

Mini Overview: Terrific stuff. Really solidified the work of Dr. No into generating one of the great movie series of all time. Barry's work here is superb, defining the Bond (and action films generally) sound for decades to come. The plot is a convoluted nonsense (Grant's going to make Bond's death look like a suicide by shooting him multiple times?) but fun with a great cast delivering some interesting characters.

Sunday, 27 February 2011

It's a crazy fucking world.

Animal Kingdom (2010)
Chosen by me as I like to go to the cinema a lot.


A film about a group of bank robbers who you never see actually performing a heist but is never-the-less tense and compelling.
Well played across the board (James Frecheville being perhaps the weakest link as the lead, but it's hard to get a grip on him his character is so very passive) a more interesting main character may have pushed this film to the next level but as it stands it is a terrific thriller and well worth catching.

Saturday, 26 February 2011

have you ever had two Asian men pummel your balls right after you had sex with a questionably attractive older woman?

Big Stan (2007)
Chosen by Sabine Woolnough who had this to say about why she chose it: 'because i know you will hate it /diabolical laughter'


Indeed.
The kindest thing I can say about Sabine right now is that she was totally correct.
Hate may not be a strong enough word to describe just how negatively I reacted to this film.
About ten minutes in a sent her a message to say I don't know if I wanted to kill her or myself.
Basically an hour and a half of rape jokes, it has no sense of ironic distance to make the grossly offensive material palatable and no sense of comic timing to even be funny.
Horridly overplayed by everyone involved (Jennifer Morrison almost manages to eke out some sympathy for her role as Schneider's unfortunate wife) there is nothing redeeming about this film what-so-ever.
I don't really care that David Carradine debasing himself in every way here (making him a star in two of the worst films I've seen with Crank 2), but it saddened me to see the awesome M. Emmet Walsh slumming once again - he deserves better but was looking pretty ropey here (I was surprised to see him, thinking he was dead).

Not just the worst film I have seen for my film a day project but one of the worst films I have seen of all time.

Friday, 25 February 2011

Mom, Dad, I really love you guys. I wanted to take this time to say the times we've spent together have been awesome.

127 Hours (2010)
Chosen by me as I like to go to the cinema a lot and friend and contributor to the blog Lauren Parker was doing an introduction for it at the Quad cinema in Derby.


Why would anyone watch Titanic if you know the ship sinks at the end? This was said by every wag going and completely misses the way people view movies. The ending doesn't actually matter, we watch movies for a journey. No-one thinks that James Bond will lose. 127 Hours is based on a fairly famous real life event, so there is little tension to be had as you might expect from if this was a fictional film. Aron Ralston's name is in the credits at the start of the film to say this is based on his book. The question is never will he get out? Or even to a lesser degree, how will he get out? But what manner of man would do this? How would you get into this situation?
Boyle is one of Britain's foremost film makers bringing a great sense of style and immediacy to everything he does. Bolstered by a blistering performance from James Franco, 127 Hours is never dull, often funny and life affirming. The film positvely sizzles, capturing the sense of thirst and loss incredibly well.
Ralston may have been a bit of a twat for getting into the trouble he did but it's hard not to be sympathetic and  warmed by the ending (although there is a very spurious link made to the horrific event and Ralston finding his wife).

Thursday, 24 February 2011

Everyone's afraid to die alone.

The Bucket List (2007)
Chosen by Victoria Charvill who had this to say about it: 'Another test for your stone cold heart. Brilliant performances from Freeman and Nicholson. It never fails to make me laugh as their unlikely friendship develops. Yet it is still quite a somber story about life's lessons.'


Whilst in the hospital this is a reasonably amusing and touching tale of friendship with a terrific performance from Jack Nicholson. If the bucket list in the movie itself had remained an academic exercise and the film focused on a relationship forged not through silly obvious stunts (skydiving, yawn) but connecting over hardship this may have been a reliable tear jerker. But it gets distracted by spectacle (and Reiner has never been the most visually interesting director) and loses all sympathy from me by playing a rather mean trick.
This isn't the sort of film that needs to have a 'twist' to have an emotional resonance, they are dying, isn't that enough? Apparently not. In order to tug at the heart strings it feels the need to mislead you into thinking Nicholson dies first and tries to blindside you with Freeman's death.
This is, in the parlance of today, a dick move.

Wednesday, 23 February 2011

Time does not exist here. And wherever it went, it's not going to make me need Annie any less.

What Dreams May Come (1998)
Chosen by Victoria Charvill who had this to say about it: ' A test of your stone cold heart. It oozes sentimentality and wants you to believe in soul mates. That aside, it's my favourite Robin Williams film and possibly one of the most under-rated films of all time. It's portrayal of heaven and hell is the most creative and beautiful I have seen.'


Richard Matheson is a terrific writer but I have never read the story this is based on, and honestly have little interest in doing so after seeing this film.
Horribly miscast Robin Williams can neither do the comedy bits (some horrid Patch Adams sections here) nor the emotional drama (he manages ok the couple of times he gets angry though - suggesting, perhaps as with One Hour Photo, he's better when with a darker edge) but is still far better than an incredibly annoying Cuba Gooding Jnr.
Annabella Sciorra is however rather good and anchors some of the film (hey I could believe he would walk through hell to get to her) and it's murkier concepts (his family pretending to be other people is given some cod justification but doesn't really make sense).
The idea of heaven being made from a painting is visually arresting (till they ditch it) but the hell, whilst looking good i guess, never gets beyond Bosch in it's influences.