Saturday, 17 March 2012

You've had your eight, now I have my eighty.

The Living Daylights (1987)

Bond's Intro: Another new actor, Dalton gets some thrilling heroics here (also we get to see the 00 section operating as complete idiots which at least gives Bond's terrible performance in many of the movies some context - he's bossed around by a guy that thinks having an office in the back of a troop carrier plane is a good idea) on top a speeding jeep before casually dismissing any thoughts to being a secret agent at all by spilling his name and code number in front of his next fuck. Not to mention the fact that a 00 agent and a bunch of soldiers have just been murdered, but god forbid he gets his report in promptly. So, different face but business as usual. Also Bond is surprised by a monkey.

Theme Song and Credits: Not one of Binder's best efforts. Gone are the perky nips and suggestions of brazillian waxing, in come pasties (at least I assume so unless the gymnastic lady had no nipples) and merkins. It has a vague liquid theme and ends with a sleepy looking woman in a wine glass (she's probably bored by the dreary Ah-Ha song)

The Ladies: Maryam D'abo is stunning but her character too naive to be truly sexy. 

The Baddies: Not a very inspiring lot. A wet Russian , an annoying American 'General' and a henchmen who has a talent for mimicry and using silly weapons (headphones and exploding milk bottles)

License to Kill: Man, this would be my favourite Bond film of all time  if he killed that monkey at the beginning. But alas. Let's a man plummet to his death (well he gets blown up before hitting the ground anyway) at the start and towards the end of the film, bashes another with a bust, not a great showing.

Bond hates foreigners: Clearly frustrated with the Morrocan street performers but pays them off rather than, say, shooting them. "Don't worry, they'll save you for the harem" 

Bond hates women: He's rather callous in using Milovy (im not sure posing as her boyfriends pal and then seducing her was the best plan). Tears off the clothes of Pushkin's mistress to serve as distraction. Knocks over some old ladies laundry. Of course having one of the Mujarhedin exclaim 'women!' is troubling for all sorts of reasons.

Bond's crazy knowledge: death to spies minister (well not so crazy for him to know about assassins of his work colleagues i guess even if a programme ended 20 years earlier). Pickett's charge was up Cemetary Ridge, not Little Round Top.

Bond's a big fat snob: the brand in the list was questionable sir, so I took the liberty of choosing something else

00's killed: 004 who looks a little like John Oliver. And it doesn't really count but an unnumbered 00 (listed in credits as 002 and played by Herne the Hunter from The Box of Delights) is shot by paintgun after getting tangled in a tree. Poor, pathetic, obsequious Saunders shows why I never use automatic doors.

Mini overview: It sits uncomfortably between Roger Moore silliness and a more gritty take on Bond. It features some decent set pieces (the dangling out the back of the plane is still cool as seen by it's appropriation in the recent third game of the Uncharted series) but lacks anything terribly interesting and skirts close to being rather dull. Dalton is pretty damn good though. And John Rhys Davies brings more menace to his role than the actual bad guys do.

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