I don't like him. I'll think of a reason later.

Deadline - USA (1952)

Suggested by Maaike on facebook.

An embattled press, political corruption and men not caring about the opinions of women (both the villain of the piece - who is undone by the mother of his murdered bit on the side, but also Bogie himself who is typically bullish in regards to his ex-wife who has moved on from one male authority to another by getting engaged to her new boss) make this seem very contemporary but is is very easy as a modern viewer to think "look how prescient this past fiction is, look how clever they were to guess the future" instead of admiring how much they were capturing the mood of the time. Change happens but so much remains the same.

Beneath the crusading feel goodery fantasy elements to this story there is a real palpable sense of time and place (as long as we are just looking at a very narrow straight white bit of America anyway), the newsroom feels lived in, a lot of the various sub-plots end up being connected but to begin with there is an interesting sense of chaos to the film and not everything is resolved completely to the heroes interests by the end.

A pacy, fun lesser known Bogart film with some bite still left in it. 

You revengeful sonofabitch!

Orca (1977)

Chosen by Chantal who had this to say on facebook about it "here is a film that I haven't watched in years but watched a lot as a teen. So old, I admired Charlotte Rampling back then. Imagine Moby Dick, only not a borefest and minus the queerbaiting, but told from the point of view of both the Captain AND the whale. The trailer tries hard to sell it like a C-list Jaws movie but you get to see the whale a lot and get some, dare I say, insights on the animal's psyche and motives, but not in a Free Willy way. It's a horror/psychological thriller after all."

Jaws has a lot to answer for. Beyond my crippling fear of open water. 

It may be one of the greatest monster movies of all time but it's monster is real, and may have impacted on the life of sharks in rather negative ways (also arguably spurred research and conservation efforts).

Orca comes across at times as a corrective to Jaws. Jaws wants nothing more than to thrill, the shark is a cipher, a killing machine with no other purpose.

Orca humanises it's monster. it spends time with it before the killing begins, and (barring a great white that gets torn apart to set up the killer whale's bona fides as a movie monster) the first horror scene involves humans as the hunters. Unfortunately like much of this odd, badly paced, po-faced film the scene is both glumly brutal and amazingly  bafflingly silly.

Charlotte Rampling classes up the joint to no avail when you're dealing with a film that has a killer whale causing an on land fuel dump explosion but no real sense of fun.

Some nice footage of the whales in the wild and a Ennio Morriconne score raise the quality a little but in the world of jaws knock-offs this is no Piranaha, maybe a Grizzly at best.

There's nothing you can get from a book that you can't get from a television faster.

Matilda (2016)

Suggested by Faye and Maaike in a discussion at work and watched on netflix

A delightfully odd film, that despite being based on a Roald Dahl book, still somewhat surprises with it's vicious cruelty.

Kids are launched into the air by their pig tails, cats are booted great distances and the big bad is treated to a nasty psychological and physical torment that despite how much she deserves it is still shocking.

Mara Wilson projects just the right amount of sadness that stops her from coming across as an elitist prick (the film has very low opinions of television and never questions how trashy books can be) and Rhea Perlman, largely wasted in a one note role manages to inject a huge amount of pathos in her final line of the movie.

What's so real about you?

How to Plan an Orgy in a Small Town (2015)

Chosen by me from netflix because I love Katherine Isabelle and Jewel Staite and more cynically because the word orgy will get me more hits.

A sort of safe middle of the road raunch for bored middle class white people.

On the one hand it seems to be critiquing slut shaming but is ultra conservative about pairing everybody off (the pull between sex comedy/romance comedy/indie comedy an uncomfortable fit) in the finale but doesnt really make a case for why that should be a good thing.

It begins with an (aborted) sex scene where a condom is brought out but never during the 'teaching how to orgy' bits is safe sex practices mentioned once (possibly because it would ruin a rather strained plot point).

Intermittently funny, and Katherine Isabelle really should be a bigger star but not exactly a hidden gem.

We are dealing with science here!

Logan Lucky (2017)

Chosen by me as I like to go to the cinema a lot and hey a new Soderbergh is something to celebrate.

A very funny, well played heist movie ("Ocean's 7-11" it dubs itself within the film so lazy film reviewers like me can't use that joke themselves) with the requisite twists and complications needed but a good grasp kept on the characterisations at all times.

The whole thing moves with panache ably helped once more by a cool David Holmes score and attention to detail that help sell the more unlikely moments (it's hard to believe one late twist doesn't spur a different outcome).

Seth Mcfarlane is mostly pointless in a role that seems designed for Ricky Gervais to play but Daniel Craig has a hoot with his eccentric campy explosives expert.

There's a strong Coen Brothers vibe to the whole endeavour (Tatum is a very interesting muse to some great filmmakers - a Tatum totem if you will) but it's not mere pastiche and forges it's own more laid back take on their meticulously crafted farces.

what does infinite mean?

El Incidente (2014)

Chosen by Patrick who responded to my facebook call for more interesting movies with nothing but the enigmatic sounding two words 'el incidente'. I had never heard of it.

An interesting low budget effort from Mexico that uses just two locations (one closed off and one more intriguingly open aired) to fashion a sort of Twilight Zone fable that manages, despite some repetition (inherent in the set-up) to maintain suspense for it's running time.

The theme of the film when it reveals it's hand is fairly on the nose (some dialogue points out the main thesis earlier on) and perhaps more reductive than illuminating (are old people less happy than the young?) but it's told with such bravura that you can't help but be swept up in it.

The performances perhaps let the film down a little as the characters get a little lost in the puzzle machinations that more compelling actors may have been able to avoid.

Confidant and thought provoking. 

Don't encourage this nonsense.

Nebraska (2013)

Suggested by Victoria on Facebook who had this to say about it "Nebraska is one of my favourite films. I listen to the soundtrack a lot."

The movie takes its' shambling pace from the walk of Bruce Dern, relentless, directed but also meandering, slow and kinda confused.

A terrific performance, with an underplayed but affecting star turn he does more with a simple 'huh?' than most will with reams of dialogue.

There is a gentle, dry wit to every scene (though it can default to a more cynical 'aint hicks dumb' comedy a touch too much) and a core of real emotion that makes the finale (a simple drive through town) work despite a narrative convenience or two.

It doesn't exactly pack any dramatic punches but that's part of its' understated charm. 

I always want to see something cool.

Turbo Kid (2015)

Chosen by Joe, and seconded by Frank, after asking for recommendations on facebook. 

Part of the cycle perhaps kickstarted by Tarantino and Rodriguez' Grindhouse (though that was more specifically aimed at 70s stuff their followers seem to have jumped more to 80s vhs era) this knowingly ironic (it begins telling us it's set in the future year of 1997) film will please fans of things like Kung Fury and Wolf Cop but doesn't offer anything particularly new to the mix.

The only surprising thing is that the performances are quite strong and on just the right side of eccentric but the one note joke premise (Mad Max meets BMX Bandits) doesnt really do anyone any favours and an excess of early Peter Jackson style gore is more dull than fun.

Some of the masks the villains wear are interesting but more thought has gone into their design than any character beats.

The soundtrack is great, a cool synth plastering over the gaps, giving the whole thing a more interesting vibe than it deserves. 

It was a relaxing song... and a relaxing sausage.

Hunt for the Wilderpeople (2016)

Chosen by me on netflix because What we do in the Shadows was great.

Charming and oddball for the most part buoyed by two terrific performances from Sam Neill and Julian Dennison.

It works best as a low key character piece, with the two (and early on three - Rima Te Wiata is splendid) bouncing off each other in interesting ways and, whilst not the gag machine of What we do in the Shadows, still often very funny. 

It loses it's power a little as it gets sillier towards the end but the mix of drama and comedy is mostly deft and affecting.

The trash will soften the impact.

What Happened to Monday

Chosen by me from netflix because Noomi Rapace is great, didnt realise it was from the director of Dead Snow though, which may have given me pause

A deeply confused film that doesn't seem to know what political point it wants to make so just throws a lot of stuff into the mix but explores none of them so it can have action scene after action scene instead of any rational thought.

Perhaps it is telling that the title has no question mark. This is not a film to think and engage with but one that bluntly whacks you on the head (im not sure if its' twists are meant to be surprising though it gets some points for being fairly brutal) and says 'look how clever i am' without doing the legwork of actually being clever.

Rapace is fun acting with six other versions of herself (though she doesnt Tatiana Maslany the shit out of it) but Glenn Close does a weak Margaret Thatcher (especially compared to Swinton in Snowpiercer with which this film shares some flaws but none of its' strengths) and Willem Dafoe, an interesting eccentric performer when at his best, is wasted (there is a darker side to his character which is briefly mentioned but, as with everything else, not followed up on).

She's faster than he is!

The Saint (2017)

Chosen by me from looking at netflix. I wanted to watch What Happened to Monday? but this was half hour shorter and I was tired. 

I watched this without having read anything about it and within seconds of it starting I realised I was duped. This is no new film version of The Saint but a stealth (failed? i cant be bothered to research it) pilot. The title appeared and was such a cheap looking design I knew it was trouble.

Now, teevee doesnt have to be this boring visually. Shows like Justified or especially ones like American Gods or Hannibal are distinctive, visually compelling and can make a virtue out of more limited budgets. 

This does not.

It plods along, layering boring back story, and a rote uninteresting plot (involving James Remar who somehow manages to both under and over act at the same time) livened only slightly by Greg Grunberg and Thomas Kretchsman doing their thing. 

I can only vaguely recall the Ian Ogilvy version of the Saint from many years ago but he distractingly seems to be doing a Roger Moore impression throughout this double length episode only for Moore to pop up in cameo at the end anyway.

Too dull to be annoying and offers no reason to want more of this.

Why are we always yelling?

The Hitman's Bodyguard (2017)

Chosen by me as I like to go to the cinema a lot. Sometimes that can be a mistake.

Even that tagline is fucking obnoxious.

Remember Charles Grodin and Bobby DeNiro in Midnight Run? Remember that dynamic, abrasive chemistry they had? How the two distinct personalities clashed? How the movie was funny and exciting and tight? How one complication led to another in a natural progression? Yeah? 

This movie is nothing like that.

A mess of a plot whose ticking clock makes about as much sense as everything else in this stupid, stupid film.

Two main characters who are simply awful to be around. Jokes that think two people hating each other and swearing is enough - job done.

Fairly competent action, though the cutting gets a bit much at many points.

Almost everything is dialled up to 11. But mostly the spiteful spitting of invective that it is just, oh so pleased with itself for having. The whole thing becomes a bore, like hanging out with two dudebros.

To paraphrase the mighty Jem - truly truly truly obnoxious.

Everyone who walks with you dies.

The Dark Tower (2017)

Chosen by me as I like to go to the cinema a lot.

Despite heavy weight presences Idris Elba and Matthew McConaughey nothing really sticks in this film. Their Roland and Walter never really land as characters, so the central conflict feels inert - just two actors talking through gritted teeth to no avail.

It makes the baffling decision to begin the movie focused on a kid in therapy and feels more like a remake of The Never Ending Story but without any joy or fun. The first 20 minutes of a very short film are a real slog, the first couple of action scenes are dark and dull. Only does it liven up briefly as Elba begins ricocheting bullets off steel posts in the finale but this limp boring film is DOA.

It was fun seeing Fran Kranz coming onto screen in a cardigan and minor replay of his Dollhouse role.

An actors senses are so finely attuned

Handsome: A netflix mystery movie (2017)

Chosen by me as I like Jeff Garlin.

Making an interesting companion piece to yesterdays Girlfriends Day  - another netflix original film, short (about 80 mins), with a pointless mystery (that maybe one of the films jokes as the whole thing is kind of a Columbo spoof) and rambling shaggy dog structure bolstered by great cast (including - again - Natasha Lyonne).

This one is more overtly comedic but lethargically paced and it's odd world not so compelling as the noir tinged greetings card celebrities.

That said, it has it's charming moments, some of the goofy humour hits and it's amiable enough.
Steven Weber is, as ever, terrific.

They make me feel better somehow

Girlfriend's Day

Chosen by me scanning through netflix for something I haven't seen and Bob Odenkirk is amazing.

At a scant few minutes over an hour long this barely qualifies as a film but it also doesn't allow for it's central joke to become too laboured.

It feels a little like a Mr. Show with Bob and David sketch idea stretched out, with most things more obviously representing a joke excised - the central gag being it takes this version of the world seriously. A world where greeting card writers are more akin to stand-up comedians, with the hangers on and a-list and c-list stars.

Each scene explores a different facet of this peculiar set-up wrapped up in a neo-noir and nihilistic plot (the one murder is almost entirely pointless) all hanging on Odenkirk's terrific performance.

Many interesting faces pop up for a scene or two to never come back again, some, like Natasha Lyonne and Stacey Keach more obviously a pastiche of film noir tropes, others like Andy Richter or Ed Begley Jnr. just adding flavour to a funny but melancholy tale.

Don't worry about the dead man in the bath tub, it's not what it looks like.

Violet and Daisy (2011)

Chosen by me by looking at netflix for a film I hadnt heard of.

It's easy to see how this one slipped through the cracks despite an interesting cast and a writer/director fresh off an oscar win. 

It's too slight, too odd, too arch without really being any good.

Every now and then its strange fairytale vibe almost coalesces into something, if not meaningful, at least fun but the energy is so low key as to be non-existent which harms it's chance at becoming a cult oddball curiosity.

There are two types of beings in the universe: those who dance, and those who do not.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017)

Chosen by me as I like to go to the cinema a lot and the first one was chunks of fun.

Though it is funny (and that's enough) Gunn seems bored by the fight scenes and,  2/3 times, does a hacky joke where the action is happening in the background and the foreground is a contrasting mundane thing - though at least it's not the really bad just reaction shots malarkey.
The way the first integrated the music went beyond trying to sell a cool tie in album and made for an unexpected emotional throughline - here the daddy issues are more rote and having a discussion over the meaning of one of the songs meaning seems a forced way of replicating it.
There's a really, bizarrely strong fast and the furious vibe going on through the whole movie with it's emphasis on family both by blood and by choice, and baddies becoming staunch allies with little to back up the heel/face change.
The first one has a dull villain but at least the plot's structure makes sense, this one seems to meander for a while then suddenly darts all over the place (i mean i kinda adore Stallone's team but why are they taking up time at the end? that whole ravagers plot is super clunky).

Still despite these flaws making it not quite as good as the first one it is hugely enjoyable, fun, silly, exciting - hard to be too disappointed by that really.

Playing "Disintegration" by the Cure

Ant-Man (2015)

Chosen by me on netflix last night though i had seen it at the cinema

Ostensibly Marvel Studios have been trying to give their movies a different feel. Winter Soldier was meant to be more political thriller. This was meant to be a heist flick. 

In actuality they are all pretty much the same tone-wise. Luckily that tone includes being breezily entertaining, with a good mix of humour, stakes and character based shenanigans. 

Ant-Man can't quite escape the shadow of Iron man (there's some similar plot beats here and a very similar villain - though it gets some points by not hiding the fact this time) but is still a lot of fun.

It's hard to know the behind the scenes details, and it will always be a shame we didnt get the Edgar Wright vision for this film (he and Joe Cornish! get screenplay credit and there a couple of moments that feel very much in Wright's style) but Peyton Reed does a solid job.

One of the most commendable things about Ant-Man is that it gets weird pretty quickly and doesnt care too much (oh sure there's a sub-atomic world where time and space cease to matter, oh sure i can control ants who can do all sorts of cool stuff).

One of the least commendable things about Ant-Man is that it goes out of it's way to explain why a woman is not the lead. Instead of, you know, just making a woman the lead. Still the next film gives title billing to both Ant-Man and Wasp, so that's something I guess.

But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world.

The Little Prince (2015)

Chosen by me as it was on Netflix and I had been introduced to it via the medium of board game by a friend.

Perhaps not quite as well known here as in it's native France or the States (I was mostly aware of it for being referenced in a Futurama episode) Antoine de Saint-Exupéry's slight tale is expanded for this film, mostly successfully.

The newly added modern day framework may annoy purists but it adds a Neil Gaiman-esque element to the proceedings making it a tale about how tales are told, and why they are so important.

The two clashing styles of animation end up marrying together quite well though it's hard not to long for the more retro stop motion style look of the Aviator's story over the smooth but slightly bland modern cg take of the contemporary story line.

The whole thing is charming and affecting, funny and a little sad. 

Not quite to the standard of another classic children's lit. animated adaptation, The Iron Giant but worthy of being talked about in the same breath. 

Here is a video of a couple of my friends talking about the original book in which you get to see some of the delightful art before playing the rather splendid and cut-throat board game

A writer writes a novel, a songwriter writes a song, we do what we can to endure.

A Ghost Story (2017)

Chosen by me as I like to go to the cinema a lot.

A haunting melancholy film that turns from being about grief into something more extraordinary and metaphysical before turning again and becoming very human and grounded.

It may be too dry to bring on the tears but it's hard to imagine a sadder film this year (though it has some very funny jokes - these too are bone dry).

Rooney Mara and Casey Affleck* are terrific with very little dialogue and the sheeted ghost manages to be expressive perhaps because of it's blankness (we project/empathise onto the sheet in the same way light projects onto a screen).

Indeed, one reading of the film makes us into one of the ghosts, observing, without being able to interact fully. This is why we see Mara eating that pie for so, so long from a single angle, different to the ghosts point of view who we can see in the background. 

A truly unique film. 

*yeah he's a prick in real life. Hard to ignore that.

I'm done being Mr. Nice Guy.

Colossal (2016)

Chosen by me as I like to go to the cinema a lot.

A film maybe mis-sold by it's marketing. 

At first I worried about the idea of tying alcoholism to kaiju action being both a little on the nose but also offensively reductive. However the movie does something much more interesting than that. 

It also is not really a comedy, despite having some funny stuff in and doesn't undermine the seriousness of addiction by playing it for simple laughs. 

Anne Hathaway is amazing, giving one of the best performances of her career, grounding the weirder elements with a very human soul.

Spoilers to follow.

When the film reveals (and it has plenty of clues beforehand but we are conditioned by years of romance comedies to not be alarmed by them) that it is actually about toxic masculinity and how the 'nice guy' trope is damaging to all around it really cements itself as something special. And it gets to explore it in a couple of ways with both Jason Sudekis and Dan Stevens presenting as heroic leading man types at differing points in the movie before pulling back the curtain to show that behaviour as corrupt and controlling. 

And unnecessary. 

You can't un-fuck what's been fucked

Atomic Blonde (2017)

Chosen by me as I like to go to the cinema a lot.

Held together by a fantastic, bruised and bruising, performance from Charlize Theron, this never quite manages to be more than the sum of it's parts.

There are a couple of fun action scenes, well delivered with clear beats and interesting choreography but the plot tries to be too clever and the stakes dont really make sense making the whole endeavour a little hollow.

It's all couched in cool shot after cool shot, lit with neon, great fashion and an obvious but fun soundtrack (two of the songs here were already used in an early 80s nostalgia fest, and much better movie - Grosse Pointe Blank) which make it perfectly watchable but it lacks the baroque oddness of a John Wick, say, to make it more worthwhile.

Spoilers to follow, though anyone paying attention would not be massively surprised.

I have a weakness for unreliable narrators (The Usual Suspects a favourite of mine) because stories about the art of story-telling (Neil Gaiman's stock in trade) are endlessly fascinating to me.

But this one doesn't really serve any purpose except to try and delay the obvious and unpackaging it doesnt reveal layers instead it makes the whole thing seem pointless.

I'm not obsessed with him, I'm just super observant.

Spider-man Homecoming (2017)

Chosen by me as I love going to the cinema and the spider-man movies are mostly pretty fun.

Great fun and easily the best Spider-man film to date.

It's primary weakness is some shoddy darkly lit action sequences. However this is mitigated by the fact that each of the scenes are well crafted plot/character structure wise. So even though the action itself lacks the scenes still work as drama. A Superman eiffel tower-esque sequence at the washington monument is the best (despite featuring the underarm webwings that I've never been a fan of)

I almost wish I could just have had a movie of the kids in school, the chemistry is strong and mostly more interesting than Keaton's vulture who doesnt have many notes to play but grimace (however in his one big scene where he does to get really let loose, a simple conversation in a car, he just nails it).
Ned and Michelle are great school mates (and couldnt feel more like Bendis co-creations if they tried) and Zero from Grand Budapest Hotel is a fun modern take on Flash Thompson. Martin Starr only gets named in the credits so im choosing to believe he is playing Community's Model UN loving Professor Cligoris (the film furthers the numerous MCU/Harmontown connections - Chris Mckenna is one of the many credited writers and Donald Glover gets to make a vague reference to a major spider-man character).

Love. A conman like you knows what love is?

The Handmaiden (2016)

Chosen by me as I like to got to the cinema a lot and because Park is a great film maker.

Gorgeously made period melodrama from a master craftsman.

It begins as a slow, precise, interesting look at class and sexual tensions before inverting and becoming something else and the flipping again in a most crowd pleasing way.

Though mostly tightly plotted, it relies on some narrative conveniences to punish one character and seems to let another off scott free as everything unravels at the end.

The performances are terrific (by law you have to call actors in non-porn sex scenes this graphic 'brave'), the twists fun and the mannered direction perfect.

Your driver will be ready as soon as he puts on his pants.

The Big Sick (2017)

Chosen by me as I go to the cinema a lot and have been a fan of Nanjiani and Gordon for a while.

A charming, very funny delight. 

Spinning the true story of Kumail (playing himself) and Emily's (Zoe Kazan) early relationship this film manages to be both melodramatic (comas! arranged marriages!) and sweetly low key.

Everyone is just great with Ray Romano and Holly Hunter bringing some wonderful performances but even the bit players (like an excellent Vella Lovell briefly fleshing out one of the other sides of Kumail's arranged potentials) feel natural and interesting.

If you don't see me again, it's because I'm dead

Baby Driver (2017)

Chosen by me as I like to go to the cinema a lot. Also it's an Edgar Wright movie - c'mon!

A musical without dancing. 

Just super cool, the soundtrack is this years Guardians of the Galaxy breakout film sound.

Pacy and exciting this manages to pull off a move that in many of directors hands would be excruciating. An almost wall to wall juke box of songs (see suicide squad for how nauseating this can be) that has emotional resonance and gives the whole film a fresh rhythm despite it's constituent parts being fairly stale (one last job, getaway driver tropes a plenty).

Spacey has not seemed this interesting in a film for a long time and everyone brings something a little extra to mostly one dimensional roles.

Especially Lily James, whose Deborah is mostly just a prize for Baby to get away from crime for, but who seems so much more on the screen.

Can't help but think that maybe Wright could do with someone like a Jessica Hynes with him to co-write as this certainly continues the trend of underdeveloped female characters and easily his biggest weakness as a creator.

Still, all in just fun and funny stuff.

Also, and this may be a massive shock to everyone, I'm a total nerd.

And I've started doing little video playlists for my friends before we watch a film together (if i've seen it before). Here's one i did for baby driver

I'm freaking dope.

The Incredible Jessica James (2017)

Chosen by me as I use netflix a lot and Jessica Williams is amazing.

Jessica Williams really is amazing. 

And that is almost to this films detriment. Her Jessica James is so fully realised, so brilliantly present that it threatens to derail the whole endeavour. She's too good a character for something so slight. 

The plot is so low key that a any dramatic potential is rather undernourished.

But it is never less than watchable, Williams chemistry with O'Dowd is cute and even better is the relationship between her and a best friend played by Noel Wells. Lakeith Stanfield, so good in Atlanta, rounds out the cast nicely.

Oh yes, very undateable

Frances Ha (2012)

Chosen by Agathe technically as she supplied me the dvd but I'd been wanting to get around to it for ages. And I don't do the thing where people give introductions anymore. But she likes it and mentioned watching it every couple of months with a friend for a while.

Absolutely charming, even while you are being frustrated by the main character's nature.

That the frustration never hardens into resentment is down to a winning, personable performance from co-writer Greta Gerwig and the low key reality of all the little choices she makes to mess up her life (turning down a sensible job offer, putting a trip to Paris on a credit card).

Despite the film constantly throwing barriers both self inflicted and otherwise in front of Frances it's never a slog (indeed it's a brisk 80mins and change), never too dour and relentlessly upbeat. Finding a cool place to live for a short while may not be the most life changing event but it is rewarded with a delightful dance through the streets to Bowie's Modern Love.

It makes an interesting companion piece to the recently reviewed on these pages Jules et Jim in that it is a massive love letter to the nouvelle vague films. Filmed in black and white, using musical cues and references (though the Modern Love dance is riffing from a later French piece - 1986's Mauvais Sang) it is a film filled with character but little incident.

A delight.

It's our mission that doesn't make sense, sir.

Valerian 

and the city of a thousand planets (2017)

Chosen by me as i like to go to the cinema a lot.

In some ways a follow up to Besson's The Fifth Element, with many of that films weaknesses but few of it's strengths.

There is a wonderful sense of whimsy, one off gags (jet boots, a gun that fires energy platforms to stand on) are thrown at the screen a plenty. But none of them really resonate, partly because those images are dismissed as quickly as they appear but also due to the single most damaging aspect of the film.

The two main characters are just terrible.

Who really cares what cool thing they may be doing (a confusing but interesting heist across virtual reality dimensions?) when they are such dickheads.

The Star Wars knock-offs (yes, the comics pre-date 1977 and unfortunately have not been read by me) almost always get one major thing wrong. They focus on the arsehole aspects of Han Solo (and for sure he is an arsehole) and forget everything else that makes him work. Partly, of course, Ford's performance, but also good jokes and chemistry between characters.

This movie ups that to unbearable levels.

Valerian is a nothing wisp of a character defined by badgering his workmate into marrying him.

But Laureline is even worse. She kicks small lizards, like a serial killer in training. 

And after a bunch of colleagues are brutally killed in front of her (including one that has a flirty moment more dynamic than anything with Valerian) she doesnt show any acknowledgement of their passing except to moan her dress has been ripped.

Only Rihanna's character Bubble seems even half realised, her chameleon dance a clear high point of the film, and with a few lines even threatens to make Dane Dehaan look interesting before disappearing from the movie and our hearts.

Also every single joke is awful. Some, I'm not even sure were jokes, just random words said in a jokey cadence, like a placeholder waiting for a rewrite to happen.

Effects are decent but no visual lingers in the way, say, some of the GOTG stuff does.

And nature has been punishing us ever since

War for the Planet of the Apes (2017)

Chosen by me as I like to go to the cinema a lot (since I abandoned the rules to this blog many years ago, not sure why I still do this bit)

A fine third to an interesting and varied trilogy. 

This hews much closer to the second instalment but manages to find it's place and adds value as an end-piece.

Filled with some big ideas (the Apes working for the human soldiers, human regressing to beasts, humans still fighting each other, the cost of vengeance) but never losing sight of the character beats is an impressive feat. Combine that with some extraordinary effects and acting work make for a thrilling, occasionally stunning couple of hours.

It skimps a little on the humans this time (the final conflict losing some emphasis by having no clearly defined characters on the human side, a crossbow sniper never becomes more interesting than his weapon) but you'd barely realise that as the apes are so compelling.