Why are we always yelling?

The Hitman's Bodyguard (2017)

Chosen by me as I like to go to the cinema a lot. Sometimes that can be a mistake.

Even that tagline is fucking obnoxious.

Remember Charles Grodin and Bobby DeNiro in Midnight Run? Remember that dynamic, abrasive chemistry they had? How the two distinct personalities clashed? How the movie was funny and exciting and tight? How one complication led to another in a natural progression? Yeah? 

This movie is nothing like that.

A mess of a plot whose ticking clock makes about as much sense as everything else in this stupid, stupid film.

Two main characters who are simply awful to be around. Jokes that think two people hating each other and swearing is enough - job done.

Fairly competent action, though the cutting gets a bit much at many points.

Almost everything is dialled up to 11. But mostly the spiteful spitting of invective that it is just, oh so pleased with itself for having. The whole thing becomes a bore, like hanging out with two dudebros.

To paraphrase the mighty Jem - truly truly truly obnoxious.