we balled and we balled and we balled until he dropped dead.

Invasion of the Bee Girls (1973)

Chosen by me from a list of public domain movies on a website David Morson linked to me.

Described on the website as a film about 'A powerful cosmic force is turning Earth women into queen bees who kill men by wearing them out sexually.'  I just had to see it.
Of course like most B movies it's not quite as fun as it sounds but it had a solid confidant start and fitfully moments of wit.
It is horribly let down by it's notion of what is sexy though. At one point a couple almost literally take a roll in the hay - rolling ungainly down a hill of long grass with as much sensuality as a dung beetle. Also there is a fairly pointless and nasty attempted rape scene that would have seemed more at home in a Death Wish movie.
Written by Nicholas Meyer who also wrote some terrible Star Trek films.

Not ground. Ice!

On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969)

Chosen by Blogalongabond who has lots to say on the film. Check it out.

Bond's Intro: For the first but not last time we introduce a new actor portraying Bond (and a throwaway gag which enables non-sensical fanboy 'Dread Pirate Roberts' arguments for why Bond keeps changing). We focus on small details, a smart car, a cigarette case, stylish clothes, reinforcing it's the same Bond (only different) you've loved for five movies. There's an introduction for Tracy 'Teresa was a saint' Di Vicenzo alongside Bond marking a difference though perhaps subtly in her role in the film straight from the start.
The fight is short, sharp and fun (that flying kick in the sea kills me every time), then we get the silly joke (This never happened to the other fella) and we go into...
Theme Song and Credits: The best theme of all the Bond films. Majestic, awe inspiring and instantly hummable.  The credits play over scenes from the past 5 films again re-inforcing business as usual but I tend to think it shows a lack of confidence by the film in the audience to accept a new Bond.
Nipples remain as perky as Thunderball.
The Ladies: With both Diana Rigg and Joanna Lumley here we have now had 3 of the Avengers (granted one before her appearance in that show - and it will be a good few years before we see 'Steed' appear) in Bond films and with Rigg we have the first fully rounded, totally compelling female lead. 
Achingly beautiful (of course) but also well written, brilliantly performed and despite the plot's (and her father's) insistence that she needs Bond to 'fix' her, utterly capable (she rescues Bond more than he rescues her).
Angela Scoular is fun, if not a bit irritating, but the film drops a beat or two in the lengthy middle section as it misses Rigg's charm and confidence.


The Baddies: Savalas makes for an odd but mostly effective Blofeld and it's nice to see a consistency from the last film that he is still a complete idiot (once again his plot must be necessitated by the mortgage on his lair).
There's no real menacing henchmen here, though Ilse Steppat is frightening enough as Irma Bunt.

License to Kill: I'm going from my memory here but Bond may not actually kill someone for quite a while but when he does it is, in the parlance of the times, badass. Silently crushing a goon's throat with a ski he ends up kicking him off a mountain (the sickening crunch as he hits some rocks and bounces off still makes me wince).
Once more he doesn't kill the main bad guy and with no harpoon wielding angel of vengeance around he really pays the price for it. 
Bond hates foreigners: Nothing terrible here that I can recall.

Bond hates women: He starts a little condescendingly towards Tracy and may at first be simply using her to get to Blofeld but the film actually spends time (not much and kind of a cheesy montage to the awesome We Have All the Time in the World) on letting them get to know each other and the two have a pleasing chemistry.

Bond's crazy knowledge: He learns, and lectures all about heraldry for his undercover role.

Bond's a big fat snob: I'm sure there's a line about caviar when he stops to take a bite after trashing the room in a fight.

00's killed: None but we have the only death that really matters in the series of course. "She's having a rest. We'll be going on soon. There's no hurry, you see. We have all the time in the world. " Sniff. I'm alright, just tired. And cutting some onions.

Mini overview: A touch long and misses Rigg in it's middle but an absolutely terrific Bond movie. Best action sequences (the aerial photography on the ski sequences are so good), best score, best female lead. The plot is a little silly but I love that it's not really about the scheme itself but Blofeld's snobbery and Lazenby made for an ok Bond (not so good at the gags and a little uncomfortable at points but a strong interesting presence generally) this is the Bond film I have seen more times than any other in my adult life.

Find Hondscioh a wife, my sheep have had enough!

Beowulf and Grendel (2005)

Chosen by Darron Bowley who had this to say 'Made just before he [Butler] got the 300 role. It's not a completely horrible film. It takes the 'realistic' look at the legend and plays out like a slower, lower budget version of 13th Warrior. The only impressing thing about it is seeing how fat Gerard Butler is in it compared to him in 300.'

Lacking in any real wit or excitement, it plays out the story as a 'real world' event (though may be stretching it's verite for Grendel's mother). The leaden direction tries to hide behind some vicious gore but really saps any strength from the interesting story.
Butler remains a decent but rather dull lead with a horrible choice in films.

Hold it! Watch out for his iron hoop.

The Ways of Kung Fu (1978)

Chosen from a list of DVDs Victoria Charvill was getting rid of.

Being scored and dubbed as though it were a Carry On film (London accents coming from Shaolin Monks is moderately amusing) does nothing to make this dull, repetitive chop socky flick particularly watchable.
After an interminable 50 mins of just dreadful physical comedy and horrid over-acting we then get about 40 mins of endless fairly boring fight scenes.
None of it makes much sense (I drifted off a bit but don't really know why the bad guy was doing what he was doing or where the 'policeman' came from) and seems to go in circles endlessly.
A quick IMDB check claims the score comes from Mel Brook's Silent Movie, so there we go. I did once see an early Jackie Chan movie that used the Emperor's March from the Star Wars movies.

Don't be afraid to fall in love again.

P.S. I Love You (2007)

Chosen by Lauren Parker who had this to say: 'a guilty pleasure and a very guilty one at that. I shouldn't like it but it has cheered me up on more than occasion. It's total Hollywood cheese and it never really delivers the raw emotion you would expect in such a situation but it does the light hearted stuff well. I'm only sharing it because you need more Gerard Butler in your blog.'

At two hours it is about one hour too long but I must confess a few bits aside this was slightly better than I had expected. Playing out a romance comedy over someone's great grief works more than it doesn't (you know things aren't going to go well when the two leads start the film married - romcoms are all about the hooking up of people not the continued existence of a couple) even if the film seems confused about it's message of moving on.
There is some able support from the cast (Nellie Mckay is particularly adorable) and the first hour is mostly snappy and not too sappy. However as soon as it gets to Ireland the film nosedives into a horrid bits of physical comedy (a section on a rowboat is cringeworthy) and never really recovers (less said about Oirish accents the better).

Kill off all my demons, Roy, and my angels might die, too.

Transiberian (2008)

Chosen by me from a pile of DVDs Victoria Charvill was giving away.

A reasonably solid thriller from the interesting Brad Anderson (who had one entry in filmaday already - the machinist, one of my most viewed, also made the terrific Session 9 and worked on a lot of great teevee in the last few years).
It plays to American fears (all Russians are lazy or corrupt, foreigners generally are not to be trusted) but skews it slightly (the most horrific act is carried out by an American).
To start the clues are vague enough that either of the couples we see could be the drug mules (ala the killers in A Perfect Getaway) before settling into a Hitchcockian wrong place wrong time film (the thwarted attempts to get rid of the contents of a bag are kinda funny in their repetition but no less nerve wracking) and switching a little to a almost Straw Dogs style timid people being forced into action tropes (Woody Harrelson is quite good here).

Tell her nothing. She's a woman, you fool!

The Front Page

Chosen by me as I like to watch a lot of movies

The second part of a Ben Hecht double bill, this came a couple of years later and is a confidant funny film (though still has some line readings clearly fluffed which is always an odd thing to see in a film) for the most part.
This version is naturally overshadowed by it's remakes (His Girl Friday, nine years later is wonderful) and doesn't really escape it's Theatre roots.

Otto, he thinks he's going to have a show without Gabbo! I'M LAUGHING!

The Great Gabbo (1929)

Chosen by me because I'm a huge fan of the Simpsons who referenced this film pretty heavily for an episode

It's a pretty creaky, clunky and horridly performed (they clearly weren't fans of multiple takes as it contains quite a few fluffed line readings) movie but has some wit and verve to it.
Hard to make a qualified reading of this as the quality of the image and sound on the version I was watching was pretty bad.

It's a brain. Mom said yours was broken

The Beaver (2011)

Chosen by me as I like to go to the cinema a lot.

An odd movie that maybe was not served best well by it's marketing (it's not even close to being a comedy) or it's stars recent behaviour.
I admire it for being so unrelentingly serious about it's subject matter though it's approach to curing Depression is at times twee and ends up being yet another Hollywood 'daddy issue' tale (the desire to treat depression 'fairly' but still have an arc with a pat resolution pulls the film in different directions).
It's well played and made but still not exactly good.

Some people were born to compose music. Others to split the atom. I was born to steal shit.

Thick as Thieves (2009)

Supplied by Victoria Charvill from a pile of DVDs she was getting rid off.

I always a little fascinated by films like this. That sort of slip through the cracks. Featuring some well known names but so utterly generic and forgettable.
Did they think this would be a big hit, was it designed to pad out those bulk dvd bundles you see to help shift crappy DVD players?
It kind of just sits there, going through the motions dully. Freeman is a consumate professional of course, not a hint of boredom comes from himself but even the film's bland title does little to excite.

Did he just pull that gun out of his ass?

Mindhunters (2004)

Chosen by Brian Marshall who had this to say about it: 'A lack-lustre film that tries to be gripping but doesn't quiet succeed. A couple of interesting deaths but nothing we haven't seen before. Bought mostly because Christian Slater was in it, but even that wasn't enough to save the film. '

A curious mix of Saw and Seven, this doesn't really satisfy in any way and ends with perhaps the dumbest stand-off I have ever seen.
It kills off it's biggest star first, as if to say 'anybody could be next' but both the killer (guessed from the front cover before even putting dvd in the machine) and survivors (one has a fear to conquer, a classic arc for a hero) are incredibly obvious.
The kind of film that relies on people acting exactly as the killer had planned, as if he were psychic, this tries to explain it away as part of their jobs (the whole group are a bunch of FBI profilers in training) but it still requires startling prescience (and time - how does he set up a Rube Goldberg-esque trap involving hundreds of dominoes and not have it fall over early or fail to fall on time?)

You have a point. An idiotic one, but a point

All About Eve (1950)

Supplied by Victoria Charvill who covered it for her charming blog Dexter's Films

A splendidly performed, witty and complicated movie (it's far more about Margo than Eve) full of interesting characters being bitchy to each other.
It plays with audience sympathies brilliantly, even within one scene and is crisply shot and has a sparkling script.

thank fuck, I thought she'd never leave

Bad Teacher (2011)

Chosen by me as I like going to the cinema a lot.

An intermittently amusing black comedy for most of it's run it unfortunately doesn't have a strong enough spine to pull off it's ending when the 'Bad' Teacher is rewarded the (only) decent person in the film and the good teacher punished. If it were funnier the unlikeable characters and unwieldy plot wouldn't matter as much but despite some comedy ringers (John Michael Higgins - always a welcome sight) it never really lifts off neither being mean enough nor offering a strong redemptive angle.
Timberlake demonstrates some fine comedy chops once again.

Anything I see in my mind, I can create...

Green Lantern (2011)

Chosen by me as I like to go to the cinema a lot (and Peter Sarsgaard is often awesome)

At times shockingly inept. Stuart Baird has proved himself a very capable editor but here no-one seemed to have any confidence or control over how the scenes worked. Time and time again it seemed to second guess itself, cutting to an incredibly short shot of some Lanterns flying through space before progressing to another dull scene as if saying 'don't worry the good stuff will be along shortly'.
And then of course didn't deliver on that good stuff anyway.
Green Lantern seems mostly indebted to the recent Iron Man franchise, following it's through lines almost slavishly (oh dear god - more fucking daddy issues, not just from the hero but also one of the villains, so help me Christ) but with none of the modest sophistication the first one managed. Reynolds is certainly no Downey Jnr. substituting charm with smarm and without any of the wit (a retort to someone telling him to 'watch his back' is soooo bad I still wonder if I heard it right).
It's action scenes are horridly short, featuring no natural build up or semblance of pace. Training sessions just seem to end suddenly. The Lanterns construct powers threaten at a couple of moments to be quite cool but then the scene is over, and on the whole despite being told he can create anything they are dully pedestrian. A bad guy is killed off by another bad guy for little to no real effect whatsoever. Nobody seems to have any reason to be doing anything they do. At one point a character mentions he is Hal Jordan's best friend, which was probably the most shocking moment of the film as it seemed to come from nowhere and then he disappears anyway.
This film didn't need any of the Corps and Parralax crap, it would have been tighter, hopefully have given us a villain with proper motivation and character (instead of a nebulous knock-off of the bad guys from the Fantastic Four sequel and The Fifth Element) and offered somewhere to expand to.
Instead Green Lantern shoots it's load all too quickly into a rather soiled rag.

Fuck you, Santa Clause!

Black Christmas (2006)

Chosen by Brian Marshall who had this to say about it: 'A Christmas themed slasher movie to get you through the cold winter nights. Sadly it's mostly run of the mill with no real scares but still mildly entertaining. '

A friend once said the reason I don't like watching horror films is that I hate not being in control. Even with comedies I don't have to laugh out loud unless I want to for the most part. But I hate how even dreary, second hand rubbish like this can make me feel uncomfortable. People aren't really being killed, I don't even care about most of the cast, yet I tense up at the slightest thing. I hate that feeling so much. So much.
Michelle Trachtenburg (finishing my Whedon related theme week that had already stopped being horror/comedies anyway but still) is about the only good thing here. The kills are gory but rather limp and despite my dislike of the originals film's frustrating ambiguity the over explanation and flashbacks given here is probably worse.

Raven was so right about you

Soul Survivors (2001)

Chosen by Brian Marshall who then forgot whether he had lent it to me and couldn't recall much about the film anyway.

There's a good reason for that. It's pretty fucking dull.
Dushku gets to reprise her dirty sapphic dancing from her Buffy days but offers little else and is still the only person to make much of an impression on the whole thing.
Like a boring overlong Twilight Zone episode it seems far too obvious as to what's going on (I mean the title pretty much gives it away right?) and not nearly interesting enough to sustain it's meager running time.

He must be allergic to bees or something because he was running like a bat out of hell

Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil

Chosen by me for my Whedon actors in horror comedies theme week

A clever inversion of the usual slasher in the woods films like Friday the 13th and hillbilly gone bad movies like Deliverance this can't quite sustain it's running time (it repeats it central gag - that the college kids are incredibly accident prone - a touch too much) but is funny and often quite clever.
Tudyk and Labine are in fine form, dumb but with enough of a sympathetic touch (their exasperation at a bunch of kids who seem hellbent on a suicide pact is delightful) to stop them being just hick cliches.

I've never been to an orgy before. What do I wear?

Psycho Beach Party (2000)

Chosen by me as part of my theme 'week'

Whedon actors in horror comedies week continues with this effort, a movie I had wanted to watch when it came out but only got around to now.
I can't imagine how this film plays if you're not aware of the Beach Party movie cycle (I've seen a couple and they were kinda cool in a very square trying to be hip way) it plays to the tropes quite strongly and the acting may seem stilted if you didn't know what they were going for.
Still it's a mostly fun movie with an interesting cast but can't quite maintain it's momentum and becomes a little tiresome at the end.

Are you trying to tell me a disembodied DICK did this?

One Eyed Monster (2008)

Chosen by me as I like Amber Benson and wanted to have a small theme to the next few days.

So begins ex-Whedonites in horror comedies week (actually probably 3 days) here at filmaday. We start with Amber Benson (Tara in Buffy the Vampire Slayer) in a pretty dreadful film.
As with a lot of horror comedies this is neither scary nor particularly funny and seems to exist to hero worship the pornstar Ron Jeremy (mostly famous for looking pretty ugly - which gets a good gag here as the director asks a naked Jeremy to take off his sweater, and sucking his own, rather sizeable dick) and play with some references from Jaws (Charles Napier is terrific, if a little tired looking, as a Vietnam Vet who gets his Quint speech, just substitute a killer dick for the sharks).
Everything is done on the very, very cheap (the characters keep talking about a snowstorm coming but the weather is lovely and sunny and when it does materialise barely feels present), it hides the killer dick for a long, long time (making some of what is happening a little confusing at times but always dull).
Benson is fine but mostly looks sleepy (was everyone having so much fun making it they were too tired when it actually came to filming scenes?), the jokes are not so good.

I want to report a murder.

D.O.A. (1950)

Chosen by me from a list of public domain films on youtube

This has one of those killer premises - a man comes into the police to report his own murder (despite a note at the end of the credits that everything that happens is medically accurate the poison is mightily convenient and more than a little daft).
It has some film noir charm, a propulsive, twisty plot that dead-ends itself constantly to carry on by bringing the Chandler Man With A Gun trope in to kickstart things off again.
It's a little too clunkily made though (an annoying wolf whistle sound over every beautiful woman in one scene doesn't help matters), not quite tight enough on it's script (if Edmond O'Brien had more of an interesting performance to offer he may have smoothed over some of the nonsense) to match up with ome of the great Noirs but is a decent fun movie for the most part.

Another day to live through. Better get started

The Last Man On Earth (1964)

Chosen by me from a list of public domain films on youtube

Matheson's I Am Legend is one of the best horror novels I have ever read but the film adaptations have never quite got it right (I actually like a lot of the Will Smith version but it fucks up the ending big time).
This one comes closest to the book's tone (and to explaining why it is called I Am Legend) but can't stick the landing and is so shoddily made (these vampires make Romero's Zombies in Night of the Living Dead look like world class athletes) it starts to make me wonder what I liked about the book in the first place (only briefly mind - then I recall how awesome it is).
Vincent Price is terrific.

it's time to give this battle-suit the acid test

Spriggan (2001)

Chosen by Jamie Blackmore who had this to say: 'Animated movie - doesnt make a great deal of sense, but probably would mean more if I knew the base material. Not that great really - cannot remember what made me purchase it :/' 

Absolutely non-sensical, there's a slight Lovecraft feel to the start (and the elite team is called Arcom pushing this idea homophonically) but mostly exists to present over the top action sequences.
Well animated but filled with pretentious talk about Gods and a baffling disconnect to any realism whether physically or emotionally, it feels about an hour longer than it actually is.

Actually, I was on the bottom, coach, she was on the top

Coach Carter (2005)

Supplied, but not chosen, by Victoria Charvill from a stack of DVDs she was giving away.

It's not terrible whilst it has Jackson being a bit of a hard ass trying to motivate a group of losers into bettering themselves but when it delves into the personal lives of the players, or school politics or even the game itself it becomes a terribly annoying, cliched (christ, how many times can we see the same last seconds of the clock to score trope played out?) bore.

you ever get come in your eye Gabriel? it buuuurns.

Trick (1999)

Chosen by Brian Marshall who had this to say: 'A movie about two men trying to find somewhere to hook up for the night. A light and fun film that manages to show Tori Spelling as a pretty good actress, I know even I was amazed.'

A very slight and forgettable but not awful rom-com. It's often interesting just to see the usual tropes trotted out and how differently they play by just changing the sexuality of the protaganists.
Signs it was made in 1999 - the WTC towers in the skyline of course but also a heavily Tarantino inspired dialogue scene in a diner.

Ah. My old enemy... stairs

Kung Fu Panda 2 (2011)

Chosen by me as I like to go to the cinema a lot.

The first one was one of the best martial arts movies of the past 10 years and it's sequel is a fun follow up but lacks the strong throughline of the original.
It repeats itself a fair deal, with Po facing Gary Oldman's bad guy over and over again to little effect.
The animation is good (the background characters seem a bit more varied than last time) and the fight sequences are decent but the new characters add little (even though it's animated it's annoying to me that Michelle Yeoh doesn't get a cool fight scene).

Only two kinds of people are gonna stay on this beach: those that are already dead and those that are gonna die.

The Longest Day (1962)

Chosen by Darron Bowley who had this to say about it: 'I don't know where to start about this film, there is just so much to say. It's actually a dramatised documentary as everything that happens in this film really happened. The one thing I like most about this film is how fairly it treats the Germans. Most of the soldiers in the German army were just soldiers and not Nazis, a distinction that is often overlooked in most war films (and sadly, by most people too). The call and response of 'sometimes I wonder who's side God is on' subtley and perfectly humanises the enemy and is perhaps my favourite bit of movie dialoge ever (actually, 'No mister Bond, I expect you to Die!' is probably my favourite). D-Day is a pivital moment in British history (hell, World history!) and, the struggle and sacrifice of those that died on that day of days should never be forgotten. Genuinely, essential viewing.'

A clunky but worthwhile effort. It threatens to be swamped by it's guest stars (and seems to introduce each one the same with them turning around and basically winking at the camera) and is essentially just a series of anecdotes about the day. But those stories are often interesting, sometimes outrageous (it has to 'hang a lampshade on it' a couple of times - one German Officer offers up that no-one will believe what happened actually happened) and occasionally quite funny.
Some of the cast fare better than others (Mitchum is great, Wayne's performance feels lazy) but most of the film is strikingly shot and holds attention for it's considerable running time.

There are two wolves fighting in each man's heart. One is Love, the other is Hate.

Pathfinder (2007)

Supplied but not chosen by Victoria Charvill from a stack of DVDs she was giving away

Doom with Vikings.
A rather dull, faintly ridiculous affair which offers no surprises at all and wanders aimlessly from one crappy action set-piece to the next.

Peace was never an option

X-Men First Class - or X First Class if you go by the title screen (2011)

Chosen by me as I go to the cinema a lot and like the X-Men movies (The Last Stand is awesome y'all)

Matthew Vaughn has stated he wanted to make it like a '60s Bond film but really with the split screen antics he uses at one point it's more like one of the 60's Bond film knock-offs. It's a solid and fun film for the most part, though a touch too long, especially considering it spends no time at all giving any of the students or henchmen characters - a heel turn seems especially arbitrary and a death has little to no impact at all except to note cynically that neither of these happen to the white cast (though the betrayal would make much more sense for the one who dies with the reason he gives for his pretend betrayal actually working as character development tied into his powers).
Emma Frost is the most egregious example. January Jones has little of the confidence needed to make that character work (compare the way she seems in those outfits with Diana Rigg's Emma Peel the clear inspiration for Frost) but the writing certainly doesn't help and she disappears for a huge chunk of the film.
The film really fires when it comes to the Xavier, Magneto, Mystique stuff (setting up an interesting triangle not really seen in the comics) although it has the 'going through the motions' feeling prequels can have.
McAvoy is good and Fassbender is excellent (though he gets some ungainly soap box speeches to work through).

That's because he deals with man's inclination towards sin, in defiance of God's will.

Volcano (1997)

Chosen by the whims of the ITV scheduler (I had planned on catching X-Men but my Dad had cancelled some dinner plans for when I was down south so I felt like it might be a bit churlish to go 'yeah thanks, I'm off out now to watch a movie') as I went through the guide to find the first film that was starting that I hadn't seen.

This takes way too long to actually get to the volcano but conversely is a better movie before it erupts. It's filmed almost like a monster movie for it's first 30 mins or so and has some wit to it (the central premise is, let's face it, pretty silly) but seems curiously small scale, mostly focusing on one street and one tunnel. As a disaster movie it's fairly useless - the action beats are laboured (one man's 'heroic' self sacrifice is more laughable than horrible) and Tommy Lee Jones running around in a cardigan is not exactly thrilling.
It ends with an absolutely hilarious bit of social commentary as everyone is covered in ash and a kid can't spot his mother as everybody looks the same (a fireman solemnly declares that the event has made skin colour unimportant or some such nonsense - brilliant and comes from nowhere).

Only one good man ever got into Parliament

The Way Ahead (1944)

Chosen by Darron Bowley who had this to say: 'This film makes me feel all patriotic and nostalgic. It was originally an army training film that was expanded and re-made into a movie and as such is a wonderful example of wartime film making/propaganda (I believe it was even released on D-Day itself!). Perhaps because of the films origins, it feels more authentic than say Full Metal Jacket (very similer in story now I think of it, following men going through training and then into war. very differnet tones though). Even down to a combat engagement where they never actually see the enemy. The cast is a classic who's who of english talent as well. Maybe I'm just as sucker but I find the ending quite rousing!'

All so terribly British and stiff upper lip what. It clearly functions as propaganda for the war effort (it may have the lowest casualty rate of any war film I've ever seen - no British and a few faceless Germans) but is well put together and not entirely one sided. It does suggest that 'Boot Camp' would be a pain in the arse - although naturally completley worth it in the end.
It's filmed with a certain panache by Carol Reed and well, if plummily, performed by it's cast.

Henry, if we die before you get back, promise you'll tell everybody she wasn't my date.

Dreamcatcher (2003)

Chosen by Jamie Blackmore who had this to say: 'Good cast & introduces the term "shit weasel". Honestly thats the best I can say about it. Like most Stephen King adaptations, the book is probably better'

I can't imagine the book would have been much worse than this terrible film.
A decent cast give fairly terrible performances in something that reads more like a Stephen King spoof than a serious horror film. The usual tropes are there, but lazily defined and it undercuts what meager scares it has with a bizarre reliance on fart jokes and foul language.