Wednesday, 25 May 2011

I didn't see shit. And I ain't paid to see shit.

Doom (2005)
Supplied, but not chosen, by Victoria Charvill from a stack of DVDs she was giving away

Most of the dialogue seems strung together from war movie cliches, whether it makes sense or not (plus some irritating technobabble later just to make sure no words out of anybodies mouth mean a damn thing) but to be fair nobody is watching this to hear scintillating chat. However the action is also lack-lustre. Nothing much happens for a long, long time (like many movies of it's type this really wants to be Aliens but simply can't match the action movie chops of that film) and the action is short and dull.
The first person shooter sequence is laughably dumb and certainly not any good. It comes from nowhere, a sudden baffling shift in tone and pace, outstays it's welcome and exists purely as a in-joke to the fans of the game (to paraphrase Harrison Ford "you can play this shit, George, but you can't watch it") but at least it has a pulse.

1 comment:

  1. Here's some more plot inadequacies:-

    Why is this group of supposedly elite soldiers such an unprofessional and ill disciplined pack? And why does their new guy look straight out of school, rather than out of the training ground?

    Why do they keep cocking their weapons, having not fired them since the last time they were cocked?

    And my favorite:

    An extra chromosome doesn't make you superhuman. It gives you Downs...

    Once you get past the truly crap FPS section and the rest of the rubbish, and just settle into Karl and Dwayne being macho with oversized guns, it's quite fun.