Friday, 25 March 2011

♫There's a creep show creature with a double feature♫

Sharktopus (2010)
Chosen by Sabine Woolnough who had this to say: 'Well this pile of crap made me vomit blood. I'd rather watch Step Up 2 than Sharktoshit -_-. If this film has this effect on me, Dave's gonna end up looking like the victims from The Ring lol'

Is the art of a good B movie dead? It may be unfair to compare this to Joe Dante's Piranha (they share a producer in Roger Corman) as that was a step up from most B pics anyway but wit seems to be replaced by any clip that can get a whole bunch if hits on youtube (still the best way to watch this and it's ilk). Tiresome in the extreme, so lazily made, all of the cast seem dazed (stoned maybe?) and the film follows their slow meandering performances beat for beat (the reason the trailer plays well, apart from a silly surf song, is that it has the kills without any of the endless reaction shots we get in the film of people who look more bored than terrified). One man reacts to seeing a jetskier eaten with little shock then looks really annoyed that his girlfriend embraces him. To be fair I hate people touching me too, but still.
The plot's a nonsense (naturally) with a former navy seal, who can't fire a gun properly, questioning the gene splicing involved in making out titular creature more aggressive. Surely he should have known gene splicing was going on from the fact it was a fucking cross between a shark and an octopus. We're meant to find it noble when he turns down the million dollars offered to capture and not to kill the monster in one of the lamest heroic arcs committed to film.
There are touches, here and there, of humour but so leadenly delivered that even that cannot save this film from being a terrible bore.

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