Saturday, 5 March 2011

These doors belong to the people chasing us

The Adjustment Bureau (2011)
Chosen by me as I like to go to the cinema a lot

Are you there God it's me, David.

Me: Hello, God?
God: Oh it's you. Look stop pestering me about creating Octocats. It's a dumb idea.
Me: No it's not about that (though they would be awesome), it's about your new movie.
God: Oh it's good isn't it? I'm rather pleased with it I must say.
Me: Yeah I can see why. It's pretty pro you. But I'm not sure it was that good really.
God: It was an excellent romp, full of good performances and filled with challenging ideas on fate and my role in dictating the world.
Me: Oh I agree on the performances, Damon and Blunt were splendid together (shame they had to be pulled apart arbitrarily by plot so often really).
God: Yes indeed, I may not need to smite you with lightening after all.
Me: Well I would hold off on the mercy, as I'm not sure the rest of the film worked especially well.
God: Hmmm.
Me: It seems to suggest that the love bond between two people is enough to have God yourself rearrange your plans and let free will blossom from great trust.
God: Yes beautiful right? And how magnanimous of me.
Me: Err, yeah right. But actually the reason they are together is because one of your earlier plans forces them to be 'soul mates' so it's not really free will is it?
God: Well, no but...
Me: But nothing. The ending is completely empty and meaningless, actually saying the total opposite of what it thinks it is saying.
God: No it is a testament to the power of love
Me: Except it's not love is it because you made it happen? And even if that were not the case it's a bunch of bullshit. Why is that such an important thing anyway? People make many terrific and amazing decisions that aren't about wanting to play a game of hide the sausage but no, the Hollywood narrative must be all about a man and woman coupling, shacking up and rutting like rabbits. I put it to you God, that Hollywood is even more powerful at creating than yourself.
God: Right, I'm pretty certain that is blasphemy. One righteous wrath of God heading your way.
Me; Oh shi...

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